"Heartless"...by Kris Allen

Wat?...The...?FUCK..?
Was there ever an acoustic rendition better than the one Kris Allen delivered with "Heartless"??....i would have to presume no...and even if there was....bring it on...coz nothing anyone every does..will quite match up....to this silly little cute married college boy on American Idol.
So...Heartless reminds me of something a little more close to home...I don't think theres anyone in this world that doesnt come close to being heartless..
I agree love...I am not the Greek God of every man's dreams...I'm not even close to being really good looking...I'm an average lookin immortal...Yes...."the clumsiest vampire ever"....
But theres so much more to me...I am an extremely passionate person...and this is starting to sound like a matrimonial......But its true...I AM an very funny....very very cool...fairly talented person...
Why is it that the only people AYYYEEE am ever remotely interested in are well...either greek gods themselves...or straight....or really fugly yet interesting people...who AAAYE am ready to give it a shot with...so tell me...How..is it....that the fuglies, the gods, and the confused straight guys...always end up running away from...
Am i that undesirable??
N here I actually thought I was quite a catch....
Why doesn't anyone ever like me?....Correction...why doesnt anyone I like(sane/hot/creative/funny/wacky etc etc) ever like me??
These and many more shallow self doubts...after these messages...

Goodnight Love
Urs seriously Confused
Choleric

La Sacrificial Lamb....

Beloved Howard,
It is after long that I am writing to you...but I hope you know that you have plagued my thoughts perpetually since the day I laid eyes upon you. Yet it hardly seems your fault.
Everytime I am in self doubt or am consumed by virutes of any moral descent, I think of you, and the hatred I hold for the love I hold for you in my heart, and it all seems like absolution from my ambiguity.
This is not a runofthemill letter I write to you every now n then...with perhaps as much focus as that of a goldfish...Nooo....nonono.....
This is an actual letter where I am asking for your help...asking to be absolved of ambiguity, only this time the decision affects me and my profession...and not you or my hatred for my love of you.
Before I begin, understand this Howard, there are things I know about myself, and then there are things I understand about commonplace humans, such as yourself.....
Things I understand about myself, will be hard for you to keep up with....but try...
I'll write real slow...so you can understand it..

I-am-an-extremely-complex-person. There-are-things-I-couldn't-even-try-to-explain. I-am-trying-though. You-understand-that-I-am-a-fairly-talented-fairly-average-looking-farily-impressive-guy. And-hence-I-have-led-me-to-believe-that-I-might-actually-make-a-success-tomorrow. Now-here's-the-twist. Since-as-far-as-I-can-remember-,-I-have-depended-or-let's-just-say-relied-on-other-people-to-manage-me-while-I-drive-off-into-my-fantasyland-to-conjure-work-that-seems-fairly-fresh-and-farily-good.
Yet-I-feel-that-sometimes-I-may-be taken-for-a-ride-and-sometimes-my-means-become-greater-and-far-more-important-and-influential-than-the-ends-I-foresee. Cool???

So there you have it....my kryptonite....my water....my longlostcause...
There are many more questions I have for you..some easier...some a little more complicated......only....you wouldn't know what to say...

Goodnight Love
Yours Unflichingly

Choleric