ASSHOLE!!!

Dear Howard,
If u only knew the extent of my lust for a murder right now, you would be SOOOOOOOO proud of me...
arrrggghhh......how human can i feel rite now??....definitely not more than i already feel....as my blood crudles and screams to burst out of my veins, so it may taste anothers...not ina pleasurable manner...refuses to listen..refuses to pay attentio to my reason..refuses to be tamed..
so in the true manner of a student of yours, should i commit my first murder??....or should i kill my ego and respond to y baser instinct...my almighty ego..
should i reevaluate the importance of a life...a peaceful life....n not as a convicted murderer??...or MUST i listen to the SCREEEEAMING of my veins..
my heart knows no barriers and it wishes to burst out of my chest....or perhaps climb its way up my throat..
might I pay attention to it..or does it not matter.....is it really the most harmful vestige in my body??....is it the organ i regret most from god??...so why not do it...
why not just ket it burst and be done wiht it...
be what ive always proclaimed myself to be..a cold blooded HEARTLESS bitch...
as inane as i may seem today...i have no respect for myself...
i let MYSELF fall again.....fall into a trap i KNEW existed..
i HATE being sucha foolish ol prat who loves prancing in and outta love as though its ever done a happy thing to me....
i hate me ...i hate me..i hate me...and this is live feed from OUR lovechild...my friggin EGO!!!!!!!
oh whatever Howard...even in times like these i can't help but think evil of you....i hate that you still have such a friggin strong hold on me...no matter hoe much i hate it...THAT i think..as of now...is the only immortaly thing about me....

goodnight Howard
Yours Mortally
Choleric